Judgement 8 (Subject Alpha #1) Page 17

  Blowing out a frustrated breath, I ran my fingers through my hair. It was thick and in need of a cut but that was the last thing to worry about. “That’s why Jayson and I were fighting. He wouldn’t let me see her.”

  My father smirked. “Jayson is quite a character. If he’s taken a liking to Elina she’ll be fine.”

  “Oh, he’s definitely taken a liking to her.”

  He rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Jayson is a natural flirt. You needn’t worry.”

  “Well, it’s about time she listened to me without giving me her usual attitude,” I said, rising from my chair. Although I loved Elina’s tenacity and spirit, she really was quite impulsive. My little girl was a tough cookie but she also needed to learn who was boss and who she belonged to. I told her when she fucked me there was no going back, especially when she had fucked me so damn well. A handprint on her backside might enlighten her. I clenched my teeth, visualising the heat over her pale skin, my fingers tingling as the sharp sound of the sting made my mouth water with need. In my father’s office with him was an inappropriate place to get a raging hard on and I shifted uncomfortably.

  “So, you want me to start preparing the program?” he asked with a questioning look.

  “I need to talk to Elina first but I know she won’t decline. That’s the type of woman she is.”

  He nodded and just as I opened the door he called me back. “It’s really good to have you back, son.”

  Sighing, I looked at him for a moment. “Yeah, if this shit has told me anything it’s that life’s too short. I understand now why you had to leave me behind, but next time, however right you think it is, my brother screwing my wife isn’t acceptable and shouldn’t get your support.”

  He dropped his eyes. “I know, but you need to understand how difficult it was for me too. Logan is also my son, and now you’re more accepting of the situation, I can tell you their love was . . . is quite something. I saw that, Reid. Logan would come home after his shift at Judgement animated and so full of it. I know you and Petra only married because she was pregnant. And I’ll be honest with you, you made me so proud, son, even if it was in that swamp of sin you had to do it. Just because I couldn’t get you out of there doesn’t mean I didn’t ache with the need to. When Logan came home that night with Petra, it gave me hope to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I really thought she was the one, you know, thought she was the key to unlock the system. It was too hard to get you out too, but I thought that if through Petra we could bring down Judgement, then I’d get you out anyway. When you escaped the next night, we looked for you everywhere but you were impossible to find.”

  “Well, I don’t think I would have been so accommodating if I’d found Logan and Petra together here, especially thinking both her and Lettie were dead. I loved her, as unconventional as our marriage was, and even though she was fucking Logan behind my back, it hurt to think she had died so horrifically. I was in a bad place, so maybe it was a good thing.”

  He gave me a pained look and nodded. “Before you go.” He screwed up his face and I braced myself for his next words. “I need to know how much Elina knows about our involvement with Judgement.” He noticed my shoulders tense and clicked his tongue. “I take it nothing, then.”

  “What am I supposed to say?”

  He held up his hands. “It’s not my place, Reid. But you need to tell her before she finds out.”

  “Yeah, that’ll be fun.”

  He didn’t say anything else and I left, pulling the door shut behind me. I closed my eyes and sighed. He was right, she needed to know. She would hate me, most probably fry me and savour every moment of my death, but she deserved the truth. As much as I knew it would hurt her.

  I SWALLOWED BACK THE bile. The building stood tall, its deep grey walls looming above me like the Grim Reaper himself. I started to hyperventilate, the deep pull on my lungs making me lightheaded and dizzy.

  Grabbing hold of the railings, I gritted my teeth and encouraged my body to calm down. “Emotions, El, emotions,” I repeated, telling myself not to get emotional and blow the fucking place up before I was even in there.

  I sucked in a breath, cursing when the trickle of heat rushed through my head. Closing my eyes, I stopped him, erecting brick after brick, building wall after wall and fortifying them with heat and cement, refusing him access. I couldn’t do this with him in my mind. I needed complete lucidity and to be in control of myself.

  It was getting harder, his fierce burn demanding my attention. “Fuck off, Reid!” I growled through the tight clamp of my jaw, his need to get inside becoming painful to bite back.

  Grabbing a railing in each hand I squeezed tight, choking on the pain when the energy bore into me from the metal’s natural conductive material. “GET OUT!” I screamed when I felt the flicker of him, my name whispering in his voice through my head.

  “Little girl.” His deep growl echoed around me. He was angry, the tone of his voice firing blasts of red sparks around my mind as his anger seemed to squeeze my brain. Yeah, well, me too, arsehole.

  Ignoring him, I sucked in a lungful of oxygen, savouring the clean air for the last time before I picked up the rock I’d found and launched it into the Judgement grounds.

  I smirked when sirens blared, red lights flooding the courtyard with a sinister red haze. Such intense protection to stop people getting in. Why? Why the fuck anyone would want to be in there was beyond me.

  “Elina,” he whispered. “Don’t do this. You don’t need to do this! Baby, please.”

  A lonely tear slid down my face when the main building doors opened and Blaine stared at me with a grin.

  “I’m sorry,” I replied. “I’m so sorry.”

  “GOD DAMN IT!” I spun around, firing my fist into the wall. “What the fuck is she doing?”

  “Reid, calm down.” I stared at my father, the need to hurt him overwhelming. How was I supposed to calm down?

  My fists clenched, the lights around us going crazy, flickering on and off as sparks shot from each socket in the room.

  “I can’t fucking calm down! She’s gonna get herself killed!”

  “Then we need to help her,” he said, grabbing me. His teeth chattered when my energy started to fry him.

  Pulling away I tried to hear him, tried to soothe the anger and the fear that raged around me.

  I turned on Jonah, slamming his back to the wall with my hand around his throat. “You fucking idiot! Why didn’t you stop her?”

  “REID!”

  My arms were locked back and my body pulled away from Jonah. The need to kill him was unbearable.

  “I’m sorry, Reid. There was nothing I could do to change her mind. She was adamant.”

  “YOU SHOULD HAVE STOPPED HER!” I yelled at him. “I love her! I fucking love her!”

  Jonah stormed across the room towards me, his face dark and his eyes glinting furiously as my father and Logan each held one of my arms, holding me back. “Then don’t you think you should have told her that instead of hurting her with lies?”

  I growled at him when one of his thick fingers prodded my chest. “She gave you all of her, Reid. And what did you do? You spat on her. You lied to her. You threw her love back in her face and watched it destroy her!”

  “She . . .”

  “Do you have any idea how hard it was for her to trust you after Judgement obliterated her, after her own mother deceived her? After Rowan shattered everything good that was left of her?”

  What the fuck? How come everyone but me knew about her relationship with this arsehole?

  “Will someone tell me what the hell happened between her and Rowan?”

  Jonah slumped, his face weary as he shook his head and rubbed his eyes. “Just calm yourself down, take some responsibility in all this and let’s sort it out.”

  My body sagged as low as his. My arms were released when the lights glowed steadily and the sparks in the atmosphere died down. “She can’t do this on her own.”

&nb
sp; My father smiled softly, his hand gently clasping my forearm. “That’s why you’re going in to help her.”

  I snapped my face to his. “What?”

  “The program is ready. Although it’s set up for Elina, it will work with any of you. Elina has the primary code so it’s only her who can reset the system but you’re gonna meet her in there, Reid. She’ll need your guidance. You okay with that?”

  Nodding eagerly, I swallowed. “You don’t have to ask. You know that.”

  He smiled, his eyes pooling with tears. It hit me then how important this was to him. His decades of work finally coming to fruition. “Okay,” he whispered, his voice tight with his own emotion. “Let’s fire her up.”

  IT WAS RATHER SURREAL, drinking tea with my mother. Scones and sandwiches were plated on the table before me. I wasn’t hungry, not for food anyway. I wanted to get on with it; being so close to her made my stomach churn.

  She pursed her lips, considering my latest demand. I’d fed her a line about giving her myself if she left the others alone. I couldn’t just turn up out of the blue. She’d have been suspicious about me just walking back in. However, eventually she nodded. “Although Lettie is important to my work, I understand your need to let her have her peace. I’m not completely heartless, El.”

  I couldn’t help but release a bitter laugh. “Really? You, Mother are the one who has given that sweet little girl a death penalty. It’s you and Judgement who have taken away her hope, her life . . . her soul.”

  She shrugged, making my teeth vibrate with the need to burn the bitch. Her disregard over Lettie’s life was making me lose control. I dragged in a breath, desperately trying to dampen my emotions.

  I tensed when Blaine walked into the room, closely followed by Heather. My lip curled and I glared at her. “Well, look who it is.”

  She sneered at me, her eyes roaming my body. “What Reid sees in you I have no idea.”

  “Jealousy doesn’t suit you, Heather. Although I’ll let you into a secret.” I leaned towards her, a smug smile filling my face. “He’s fucking amazing in the sack. Proper knows how to please, if you get me.” I gave her a wink when she sank her teeth into her lower lip.

  Turning back to my mother, I braced myself. “I suppose you need to know I’ve come into control of my energy.”

  Her eyes widened, her jaw dropping with my revelation.

  Hook, line and sinker, bitch!

  “How?”

  I shrugged. “I’m not sure. Something hidden in my mind. I think it was always there, just kind of locked up. Now I seem to have found the code to unlock it. I can’t describe it. It’s just kind of like finding its signal and latching on to it.”

  She nodded excitedly. “This could be it. If we can find that code then I might be able to write a program around it. This is just . . .”

  I remained as casual as I could, her excitement both making me furious and excited. Was it sick to want to finish my mother’s life like I so wanted to? To take what she had created over decades and stamp my foot on it, shattering every single piece of it into smithereens?

  “Come on,” she mumbled eagerly, her eyes narrow as her alter-ego started its usual one-to-one. I hated it when she was like that, mumbling to an invisible person. A person as sick and twisted as she was. It meant my tests were going to be as painful as ever, her need to try anything making her reckless and carefree with my body.

  However, taking a huge gulp, I stood with her, allowing her once again to lead me into Hell.

  Tears sprung from my eyes with the force of the current rocking my body. I couldn’t seem to get a grasp on anything. I needed to take my mind back but she’d locked it down. My jaw was vibrating, my blood igniting with the electricity flowing through my veins, the combination lethal and agonising.

  Every time I found the little bright white signal, another burst of something was either injected into me or jolted into my brain, snatching away my concentration.

  “Argh!” my mother cried out when nothing worked. “Are you sure about this, Elina? I can’t find anything. Your brain won’t give me a hint at anything.”

  Opening my eyes and piercing her with my gaze I mumbled a yes. “Go deeper, it’s there.”

  She gawped at me, astounded at my demand. “Elina, you do realise what that means?”

  I stared at her. This was it. It was time. I felt it in me, a sudden calming sensation taking over and giving me the courage I needed to finish this shit. I’d had no idea what my job was, what I was supposed to do if I wasn’t blowing the place up with lightning. But suddenly and rather strangely it all made perfect sense.

  I smiled at her softly and nodded through the pain. “I don’t want this anymore. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to be here. Use me. Take my life and finally put it to use. I’m tired.”

  Her chest heaved and her throat bobbed. If I’d known better I’d have misinterpreted it as love for me. But I knew she only saw the end to subject Alpha, and how that would hinder her work. However, what I offered was too great to ignore. I was giving her permission to burrow so far into me that there would be no coming back—ever. She would take everything. She would destroy my brain in the process of understanding it and there would be two choices for the outcome. Severe brain damage or death. I prayed for the latter.

  I could see the question in her eyes, her mind relaying different scenarios. Eventually she nodded, turning to Blaine.

  “Strap her down.”

  He grinned, his eyes finding mine. I shivered at the immorality behind his smug happiness. He was going to witness my death and nothing gave him greater pleasure.

  “Oh, this will be fun.”

  I ignored him. The last thing I needed was the desire to cook the bastard. I needed to do this for Reid, for Lettie and Petra, and all the other subjects who had lost their lives because of my mother’s sick need for power.

  “I’m almost tempted to sink inside you one more time before you lose the capability to realise who’s raping you,” he taunted in my ear when he leaned over my body to fasten the neck ties.

  “Blaine!” Janice snapped without even looking at him. She was more bothered that he was taking valuable time to fasten my binds. Giving me a wink, he moved back.

  “Enjoy the ride, Princess.”

  I couldn’t help but smile this time. “Oh, I will. Enjoy the show.”

  He blinked at me but Janice came in front of him, injecting my blood with some more toxic chemicals. I stilled when her hand caressed one side of my face. “I really do love you, El.”

  I snorted, unable to nod due to the strap across my forehead pinning my head down in preparation for the pain. “No, Mother. You love the monster you created. The real Elina is nothing like someone you could ever love.”

  She smiled softly. “You’d be surprised. You made such a courageous young woman. You’re strong, fearless and determined. And I shaped that side of you. You make me proud. And you’ll always make me proud.”

  I didn’t reply. There was nothing to say.

  Reaching down, she kissed my cheek. “Sleep well, baby.”

  I closed my eyes for a moment, needing to rein in my emotions. A stray tear trickled out, dropping down into my ear and making me shiver.

  Giving me a final nod and a smile, my mother turned to the machine beside the bed, increased some dials until they were all at their topmost positions, blew out a breath then closed her eyes in silent prayer as she flicked the final switch that sent my brain right into the epicentre of Judgement.

  THE PAIN WAS SO intense that my mind shifted away from it. The light was so bright I wondered if I’d actually bypassed the system and gone straight to Heaven.

  I was in trouble. The matrix was too complex, the maze of circuits too intricate and convoluted for me to classify a particular route. I couldn’t find my way through and I started to panic.

  As soon as Janice flicked the switch, the force of power that surged through me was overwhelming. But something in my head had clicked,
and I fought it back. I pushed through the pain to reverse it, hunting through an assortment of light streaks that were being forced into my head, latched onto one and followed its route, forcing myself deeper and deeper into the web of the Judgement system. It reminded me of one of those images where the photographer has captured the night time traffic at speed, the blur of headlights creating a unique trail of glowing lines.

  I didn’t have much time before my brain couldn’t cope any longer and began to shut down. I was already amazed at how much it was pushing back, giving me the time and opportunity to do what was needed. It was like an ally, working with me from the sidelines, even though it was the heart of what was giving me the capability to do what I needed. My manipulated mind, for the first time, worked with me. It supported me, helped me, encouraged me and gave me purpose after all the pain of life. I refused to disappoint it.

  I gasped when my body went into shock as Janice increased the strength of the current, the rage of a seizure racking intense spasms throughout me. However, my mind was no longer attached to my body and I pushed the sensation away, willing myself to concentrate.

  Somehow I knew what to look for, a primary signal. I instinctively knew once I saw it to latch onto it and follow its indicator, much like when I’d found Reid in the burning house. But I couldn’t find it amidst so many different markers, each one leading me somewhere else.

  I couldn’t help but feel I was in some crazy game show, the prize waiting at the end of the path if I chose the right one. If I didn’t, well it was game over without even a consolation prize.

  God damn it! My heart raced as my eyes flicked to every track. Time was running out. I needed to get this done before my body gave in to the pleasure of death. I could almost taste the end; hope and excitement that this was nearly over gave me even more courage.

  “Just do it, El,” I told myself. “Go with your gut and pick one.”

  I pictured myself standing at a crossroads and stepped onto one of the paths, locking my focus onto the bright white light I could make out at the end of it. Taking hesitant steps, one after another, the light grew close but I stumbled when the path split into another four.